i don’t ask for a lot. i don’t want so much from anyone. all i ask for is you to love me and give me the respect that i deserve when i am with you and not with with you. when all we have is nothing left to fight for, be the grown up and stay positive. i’ve never hurt anyone, i never wanted to hurt anyone. instead, i get everything paid back to me like i’m some type of person that doesn’t have feelings, like i don’t care what’s happening around me. i don’t get why anyone would think to feel like i don’t have a care in the world. no one understands that all i want is to be happy. i don’t even care who with at this point. i just want to make myself happy now. i’m tired of thinking for others i need something else to think about. i need a friend that will be here for me 24/7 as i would for them, i may not be the prettiest girl alive, but shit. i’d make you think twice before hurting me again or at all.

when you think you know someone and that everything is going to work out. then it’s time to be a grown up and you can’t stand one more minute with that person. they don’t see things like you do. they don’t feel the same things that you do. you think that you’re one person with em’ but in the end you just wanna be alone. it’s not anyone’s fault. but if you were to blame anyone, it would be you. i think back in time when all i wanted was your attention. now that it’s gone, it lingers with everything i think about. i want you here with me. i want the old you. but if i were to go back and try and take you, it wouldn’t be you. in be someone in love, someone who has everything they’ve ever wanted. it wasn’t me, it never was. if there’s any linger that needs to be done, it should be me on you. you should be thinking as much as i do about the last long kiss we had, did it mean anything to you? were you even there? or was it your ghost that i felt. the one i always thought i’d have. you’ve left him with me, and i can’t seem to put him down anywhere. i wish you were trying to reach me. i wish you were inside me. now, all i have are faded memories that don’t seem to be what you might remember. i thought that if i were to do something different you’d come back. shame on me, for thinking i could change you to be what i wanted. shame on me, for thinking that all i needed was you to live. shame on you, for letting me slip away. 

if there’s one thing that i wanted to ever really tell you, i forgive you. we all need forgiveness. we all want what’s best, and sometimes it’s more then you can handle. i just wonder sometimes, if you could change anything about your past with me what would it be? would you want more then you ever could have? i hurt someone that loved me dearly. i through him under the bus, not because of you, because of my selfish ways. you brought the best out of me, i’m sorry. at the end of the day you can have anyone in the world. don’t forget what i’ve showed you, or ever told you. you’re a dream to me. i think there’s someone who can give you more then i could ever give you mentally and physically. 

i really hope i am. i really hope.